Advanced Soul Healing
Why do we get difficulties?
About why ‘not nice’ things can happen to a person.
It seemed to me as if in New Age I was taught that if ‘bad things’ happen to you, you have (subconsciously) ‘created’ that yourself and it is a mirror of your inner world. So you always are to blame and you always have the power to solve it and prevent it from happening again.
In Judaism I got the impression that the main idea is that if ‘bad things’ happen to you, it is always a ‘tikun’ (reparation) or a ‘kapara’ (atonement) for something wrong/bad you have done in the past (this life or former life) so you always have to look inside yourself where you are ‘off the mark’ with Hashem and correct that (do ‘teshuva’) and ask Hashem (and maybe other people) for forgiveness or just realize how bad you once were and be thankful that you can ‘pay it back’ this way.
Both ideas sort of always put ‘blame’ on yourself. You always have been ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ and you may still need to correct yourself in some way. So as long as such things happen, you sort of always seem to be ‘not good enough’ and I myself then have the tendency to feel guilty and bad about myself.
But in my own life (and in stories from others) I have found so many reasons why such things may happen! Some fit in the above categories but most of them not.
Here’s a list of all examples I could think of but I’m sure there are many more that I can’t even think of and that only Hashem knows:
* It can happen because Hashem wants you to learn something. Life is also a ‘school’.
* It may be a ‘test’. For example, Hashem may want you to learn to deal with disappointment without getting angry or to develop more emuna (trust) or maybe you want to be able to help others in the future with the same problem.
* Hashem may have given it as a present because you may just want to get stronger inside yourself. The more problems you overcome successfully, the stronger you get.
* It may happen because on a subconscious level you may feel guilty and I may not love yourself enough, so you subconsciously keep punishing yourself unnecessarily.
* You may have repressed anger or sadness or other feelings to the subconscious level and this way you give yourself a chance to feel that feeling (by triggering it) so you give yourself a chance to ‘release and transform’ it. Or to remind you that you still have that feeling. I often see people somehow ‘staying in’ it, repeating to create certain experiences for themselves so they keep getting (for example) angry again and again and never solve it. These feelings can also become sort of an addiction, maybe covering up other feelings that are too strong or scary or forbidden to be felt.
* One may have unproductive ideas, convictions: thoughts can also create things. And people react instinctively to your unspoken attitude towards them.
* It may happen because one actually wants to feel ‘pitiable’. Because if you are ‘pitiable’ you hope people will not get angry with you. Or you may think you don’t need to take responsibility (I can’t help it) and you don’t have to ‘stand strong, be strong and powerful’ because that may frighten you because of bad experiences in a former life. Also it can give a person a good reason to get attention and love from others that s/he may be afraid not to get by just being who you are.
* Things can seem bad or ‘not nice’ but they may be just a way of Hashem to create something good or to prevent something much worse. Like the man in southern Israel who suddenly had an outburst of allergy he never had before so he had to go to a hospital quickly and there they didn’t want to let him go home for the night…. In that night a Gaza bomb fell on his house right on his bed! Or the much-used romantic story that because of a car-accident the guy had to go to a hospital and met the woman of his life, a nurse, and married her. Or missing an airplane that turned out to get crashed.
* This happens a lot with children but I still notice it in my adult life too: when other things have become ‘too much’, I am tired, stressed, I actually need to have a good cry for ‘release’ but I just keep myself strong and going and doing the things I have to do. Then suddenly something goes wrong, or I hit my toe on something... and the tears can come out and find release.
* Things can happen because you need to become aware of something.
* It may be another’s tikun or karma that they need to help you with something, or take care of you for a certain period of time so Hashem makes you develop a ‘fitting’ illness.
* There may be a bigger goal that is connected to a larger group of people you belong to, group karma, or an ‘offer’ for a ‘higher goal’.
* The group the victim(s) belong to need to become more helpful toward each other, more a unity, open their hearts more: then a disaster can help creating opportunities for big waves of ‘chesed’.
* To find out ‘where you are holding’ when you are trying to learn something (developing a good character trait, unlearning ineffective habits, etc.)
* It may indeed be a mirror of a repressed part of yourself that you don’t allow yourself to ‘own’ and find it’s good, ‘rectified’ way of using it. Like not allowing yourself to be ‘arrogant’ and as a result never telling people what you are really good at doing, so you never get all the clients you could get. Then you may find people on your path who find reasons to call you arrogant or who act very arrogantly toward you.
* You may just be tired and start making mistakes….
* You may just be the victim of a bad person, there just are bad people, or people with bad traits and tendencies in the world and you may just happen to appear on their path.
* You may just be on your way to really get your higher soul manifested in a big way and the ‘other side’ may not like that and try to stop you in all ways it can find, stronger and stronger, the more you manage to shine your light into the world.
* You may not be ready inside yourself to manifest or do something, so you don’t succeed. Or the world may not be ready for it.
* You may get a nice ‘present’ through the seemingly ‘bad’ thing: by dropping the wrong ingredient into a dish you are cooking you may find out a delicious new recipe, or by making a mistake you may find out that doing just that had other, unexpected uses (like I found out by mistake hitting both the arrow-up and the arrow-to-the-right key on my keyboard while I tried to fill in the date in a form on the internet, I automatically got this year filled in without needing to type it).
* Sometimes you just make a wrong estimation of how things work inside others or in this world, in how far you have to reach or how hard you have to push etc. and something just doesn’t go the way you wanted it or intended it and you’re just in a learning process.
Etc. etc. etc.
So let's not make difficult things happening to us into a guilt trip.
(Of course if someone really does things that hurt others or themselves, generally there are ‘natural repercussions’, like losing your friends, getting hit back, ending up in jail, health problems. And I also believe in 'justice': that Hashem and our souls always find ways when we behave in harmful ways to somehow make us compensate for it, correct things, pay back or get cleansed from it by suffering.)